War of the Wings II

Atlantia! Pray attend! This slander shall not stand! We will meet these vile disseminators-of-lies and their lackey Blackbow on the field of battle! We ask that all friends of Black Diamond join our ranks and raise their blades to the evil-tongued aggressors to the south, whose 58th legion even now threatens our pastoral borders, our women, our innocent children. Our fleecy livestock.

Majesties

We have recently seen a message passed to us by a friend of Black Diamond, who shared with us a missive from Jonathan Blackbow to Your Imperial Majesties, who are doubtless as shocked as we are.

For we are shocked - SHOCKED, we say - at the slander that our erstwhile neighbors to the south inflict on our populace. This vile Blackbow (who, as you are well aware, had the temerity to cross blades only a fortnight past with Your honorable and rightful Heir, Prince Logan); this partisan on the political scene; this talker-behind-other-people's-backs; this brazen-faced knave; this base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy worsted-stocking knave; this despoiler of livestock; this...

Where were we?

Ah, yes. To slander not only Black Diamond, but the innocent desire of our Baronial daughter, Samantha the Innocent, whose child-like, innocent wish for a pair of wings is like it was Expressed by innocent ANGELS, this is perfidy! Can this villainy stand?

NO! WE SAY NO!

Majesties, on bended knee, and with all humility, we ask that you allow this vile slander on our populace and our daughter be avenged! We ask not that Atlantia's armies descend on the libelous Sacred Stone. We ask not that Atlantia's coffers be made poorer by even a groat in the defense of fair Black Diamond and innocent, innocent Samantha. We ask not that Your Majesties turn your invincible Imperial wrath on the low braggart, Blackbow, who we remind you is a lily-livered, action-taking, glass-gazing, superserviceable, finical rogue, no. No, that would be wrong. All we ask is your gracious permission to ask of your subjects that they aid Black Diamond, fairest of all your baronies, in her hour of need.

Atlantia! Pray attend! This slander shall not stand! We will meet these vile disseminators-of-lies and their lackey Blackbow on the field of battle! We ask that all friends of Black Diamond join our ranks and raise their blades to the evil-tongued aggressors to the south, whose 58th legion even now threatens our pastoral borders, our women, our innocent children. Our fleecy livestock.

Think of the livestock!

Our barony is large, but we are a peaceful people. We have no vast, standing army like the perfidious Sacred Stone, whose aggressive behavior is clearly unjustified expansionism. We ask your help. We offer our allies eternal welcome in our lands, the comfort of our bonfires, the ballads of our bards, and the cordials of our baroness, rightly famed throughout the kingdom. We offer our allies the glory of defending a righteous cause, the honor of attending friends in need.

Our enemies, we offer blood. We offer the grief of their women, children, and especially their soon-to-be-lonely livestock.

Samantha wanted wings, just wings. Is it so wrong for a little girl to dream of flying? Is it so wrong to soar on the airy fancies of childhood? We say it is not, Atlantia. It is not.

What is wrong, what is libelous, what is vile, is to twist the words of a little girl to justify expansionist aggression. Do our armies threaten the borders of Sacred Stone? They do not. Black Diamond demands justice! Atlantia attend, and drive the enemy back to their homeland, and there vanquish them! Friends, come to our aid!

We say Black Diamond will have her justice! We say Samantha will have her wings!

Your Servants,

Angus and Nastasiia,
Baron and Baroness of Black Diamond

(Choice (barely out of) period insults borrowed liberally from Shakespeare's King Lear, Act 2, Scene 2. No one out-bards The Bard.)