War of the Wings II

HAIL VALHARIC IMPERATOR!
HAIL ARIELLE IMPERATRIX!

Sir -
What?

They've stepped down. It's now Logan and Rowan.
Oh.

HAIL LOGAN IMPERATOR!
HAIL ROWAN IMPERATRIX!

SIR -
What NOW?

They're not Roman.
Does that mean we don't have to call it the LVIII th Legion any more?
You can if it makes you happy, sir. Or you can 86 the 58th.
AHEM. Now that I've lost track of all the numbers involved!

Unto Their Majesties Logan V and Rowan I

See, there's that Roman thing again. Maybe I had better switch back anyway.
You can if it makes you happy, sir. But I'd also have the scribe executed. Again.
What?
He's taking it all down again, sir.
Stupid scribe. Here, I'll give him something to take down! "When in the course of human events it becomes necessary"
Sir, we don't have that much space left in the column. Best just get on with it.

Right. Unto their Majesties Logan and Rowan
Amazing. No interruptions.

Unto Their Majesties Logan and Rowan does the Honorable Lord Jonathan Blackbow, Warlord of the Barony of Sacred Stone, send greetings! Recent events have left us with little to report, Your Majesties, until the Barony of Black Diamond did resort to their often-used and practically-unnoticed tactic of draping their baronial colors over another Sacred Stone display; this time, they had the audacity to drape a Black Diamond insignia over top the castle wall being used for a wedding at our Glory Wars, an event we scheduled in order to hone our skills one last time before setting our ambush
Hmm -
Hone our skills one last time before meeting the hordes
Hmm
Hone our skills one last time before smashing the miniscule numbers of troops Black Diamond has scrambled to assemble in order that they might challenge our claim to Elchenburg.
Yes, that sounds much better.

However, Your Majesties, this time we have evidence of the perpetrators of the incident. Their names are Antonio, Ludwig, and Targue. We have pictorial evidence which we intend to present in the name of all decency in order that Your Majesties might decide their fate.

If we can find it, sir.
Oh be quiet! It's out there somewhere.
This will be our last report before the two forces meet in October, Your Majesties. In closing I'd like to mention that it is never too late to see the light and fight on the side with the most support
I mean, fight on the side of Right.
Much better, sir.

But failing that, Your Majesties, we eagerly await you on the field, and in the castle, and in the woods, and on the beaches; we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender
Sir -
WHAT?
You're channeling Winston Churchill again.
-and wherever else our forces may prevail.
For if we do not prevail -
Sir? You're woolgathering again.
No, soldier... it's called a dramatic pause. I know, I know...they don't work as well on a page, but allow me my small foibles.
AHEM.
For if we do not prevail - it will be because we didn't bother to show up.

Humbly,
THL Jonathan Blackbow
Baronial Warlord
Barony of Sacred Stone